Gephyrophobia: The fear of bridges and/or crossing them.
I've noticed an interesting pattern in myself: the moment I make a definite decision in my life, for example and most conspicuous right now, buying a plane ticket from one continent to another, I stop enjoying where I am and start stressing out about where I'm going. I can no longer take things one day at a time, appreciating the hesitations, questions, expletives that punctuate life's simple rhythm. Instead I make mental lists of everything I have left to see, to do. Each one of those One Last Coffees I have to grab with friends.
I devote all my attention to the Next Big Step. To resumes and cover letters and thinking it might help to narrow it down to at least one region of the world, but not knowing where to start. 63 days of crescendoing whirlwind. Of last minutes and long goodbyes and just one more times.
I think this is more a fear of time constraints, but there isn't a word for that.
3 comments:
I know what you mean. It's so hard to settle into a groove and stay in it when there are adventures to be had and groundwork to be laid and all of the millions of other things we ought to be doing with our youth. It's intimidating. Still. We live the lives we create for ourselves and none other.
Grateful, btw, for the currently reading list at right. Hesse gefaellt dir?
I feel like we had a similar conversation the other night - about transitions. Granted, the symptoms were different given the context at the time. Yet, I know what you mean.
Did you take that picture from the Fulbright Commission? I love it.
I know exactly what you mean. I am all about the long-range planning for transitions, not so great at the daily reality of what I'm already doing. It's ok to be excited/focused on the next step though!
Also, I love your blog header.
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